Math Problems

                              In school I was never good at Mathematics. I never knew why, but calculating numbers, remembering formulas and even applying them, always gave me problems. In primary school while Math class was in session, I would always try my utmost to listen attentively and follow very closely what the teacher was doing but somehow I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I would cross my fingers, say a prayer in my mind and hope that the teacher would not call upon me to work out any problem on the board in front of the whole class. Sometimes the prayers worked, but on other occasions it didn't and I would be called up in front of the board to work out a sum. I would tremble like a leaf at the thought of the teacher dropping the guava whip on my back or legs. I would be lost in thought, utterly embarrassed and clueless about how to do the Math problems. 'I guess that's why they are called problems.' I often thought to myself. While I stood there trying to figure out what to do, the teacher would get annoyed and shout at me. If that was not enough, the guava whip would come down on my back with a vicious blow. Whoop!

                               I would writhe like a snake and try my hardest to fight back the tears. 'Why do I have to go through this torture?' I would say to myself. I can recall a time when I was nine years old and in standard three, I was having great difficulties doing long multiplication. What made it worse was that I was the only child in the class with that problem. Yes, the pun was intended. The teacher who's name I will not call, decided to 'help me out' by having me stand at her table while I did nothing but long multiplication for the whole day. The other students would get to do the other subjects like English, Science, Social Studies, including Mathematics. Poor me though would have Mathematics forced down my throat from roughly 9:00 am to 3:00 pm in a vain attempt to 'help me.' A problem would be given to me to do by the teacher after she showed me an example. I would then have to figure out the problem while she taught the rest of the class in front of the board. Ever so often she would check on me as I struggled desperately to come up with the correct solution to the question. It would be a futile battle for me though, as my brain seemed to be incapable of fully grasping the concepts of Mathematics.

                             My problems would continue into secondary school where the Mathematics became more difficult.  One of my teachers was a middle-aged, grey-haired man by the name of Mr. Hackett. Unlike the teachers in elementary school in my days as a student, the teachers in secondary school never punished you physically for getting the problems wrong. You would however get embarrassed verbally in front of the whole class for failing an exam. I remember one time getting an Algebra exam back in 1992 and a few days after Mr. Hackett corrected our papers. During his next class he asked me to stand up. After I did as commanded. Mr. Hackett proceeded, 'Hi class, please meet the egg-farmer Mr. Salazar.' Of course everyone knew what  'egg-farmer' meant. I had gotten a big, fat ZERO in the exam. The whole class blurted out laughing. I however, was not amused but rather embarrassed. Naturally.

                            I tried all sorts of methods to overcome my mathematical struggles. Even the old personal tutor. But that only made things worse. For the tutor that is. Eventually CXC caught up with me. For those of you who are not from the English speaking Caribbean, CXC is a big exam that students who are in secondary school have to do when they reach the age of 15 or 16 thereabouts. They only qualify for sitting it if they meet certain requirements which will be determined by the teacher of course. The individual subject teachers of the particular student will determine if the student is capable of writing the exam. If they think that he or she is incapable, the particular student may be withdrawn from sitting the exam. I was given a chance by the teacher to write the exam . Albeit an 'easier one.' The CXC exam usually takes place in the months of May and June. I did well in all the other exams except Mathematics. As expected. I left school with passes in five of the six CXC subjects that I wrote. Not bad. I said to myself.

                       Unfortunately though, I had to attend evening school in order to see if can I pass Mathematics. There were times when I would think to myself that Mathematics is the hardest thing to do in the world. I would buy new text-books out of my hard earned money and force myself to try to understand what was going on by reading over the examples in the text and doing the exercises. Algebra and Trigonometry were always the ones that I did the most because most of the more difficult CXC questions revolved around those topics. That doesn't mean to say that I didn't study the so called 'easier topics' also. There were times that I would deny myself a lot of sleep at night doing Math problems. Even though I had work in the morning. I said to myself. 'I am older now and I should be more mature and disciplined enough to know how to go about this problem in a proper manner. But again I would come up short in consecutive exams in 2000, 2001, 2002. I took a break of about nine years and tried again in 2011. And although the grade was slightly better than in 2002, it was still a failing grade.  The following year I made one more attempt. I told myself that this was the last time that I will be writing this exam because I am simply fed up.

                      Perhaps my words were prophetic because a few months later while checking my results online, I saw my name and next to it was a passing grade. Albeit a minimum one. I was so elated. I almost fell off my chair in excitement. After all these years I was finally able to succeed in a subject area which, up until that time appeared beyond my capabilities. It's amazing what a little hard work can do.