Thursday 8 October 2015

Faux the tabloids

Miley Cyrus says that she is giving up her bad girl image. Writing on her Facebook page, Ms. Cyrus stated that she is ashamed of her behaviour over the past few years. She also mentioned that she is fed up of giving her father Billy Ray an achy breaky heart. In order to clean up her act, the Wrecking Ball singer went on to say that she will be wearing a chastity belt and staying at a convent for one year. She hopes that the experience there will make her more spiritual and that it brings her closer to God. Her post has received over one million likes as of this writing.

X-rated movie legend Ron Jeremy states that he is finally settling down and getting married. Speaking to this reporter, Jeremy said,  'I am proud to let you know that I am finally settling down and getting married. No more promiscuity for me.' 'The lovely lady who has stolen my heart is none other than fellow X-rated movie legend Nina Hartley.' He also went on to say that the wedding will take place at a nudist colony.

 Angelina Jolie  has admitted that she is missing her breasts and that she regrets having the double-mastectomy she had two years ago. Writing on her Twitter account @AngelinaJolie, the Oscar-winning actress said: 'sometimes you do things that you regret and doing this (the double-mastectomy) was one of the biggest mistakes of my life seeing that I never had cancer to begin with.' 'I really miss them, even though they weren't so voluptuous, they were still mine and they were real. Having little is still better than having none at all.' The tweet has been favourited over one million times and has had over five hundred thousand re-tweets.
          
Madonna was recently spotted  on an Acapulco beach  making out with a young Mexican man. Asked if she was in  yet another relationship, the sometimes controversial Queen of Pop  replied, 'you know how I have a fetish for  Latino men.' 'Don't you remember that the first child I had, Lourdes, was by one of my hunky backup Latino dancers Carlos Leon?'

Kanye West has admitted in an interview that the only reason he hooked up with Kim Kardashian was the fact that she has a big butt. 'Well you know, as a black man I always like a girl with some junk in the trunk. You know what I'm saying?' 'And Kim's got plenty. I don't care if it's implants or not.' Kim couldn't be reached for comment.

 Caitlin Jenner, also known as Bruce, has admitted that  new life as a woman is extremely difficult. Speaking to Faux Entertainment Magazine, Jenner confessed, 'it's been very hard these past couple of months.' 'I never knew that being a woman would have been such a challenging experience.' 'Maybe I should have consulted a psychologist before I made such a decision, but I just didn't have the balls,' an emotional Jenner said. Well she certainly doesn't have them now.
              
 Finally, Kristen Stewart is to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Twilight  actress and former Razzie winner said that she was 'overly ecstatic by the wonderful news.' She also admitted that life as an actress is tough, but she is glad that she is finally being given the recognition that she fully deserves for her outstanding contribution to the field.

No comments:

Post a Comment