Yelena & Jenn

     

One day while giving her little daughter Eva a stroll, Russian World Outdoor Record Holder in the Women's Pole Vault, Yelena Isinbayeva met up with her American rival, reigning Olympic Champion and World Indoor Record Holder, Jenn Suhr. This was how their encounter went.

YELENA: Hi Jenn.

JENN: Hi Yelena. How does it feel to not be in the spotlight anymore?

YELENA: Are you kidding? I have been very busy since winning my last major World Title two years ago. I was an official mayor in the Olympic Village when Sochi hosted the Winter Olympics last year. I gave birth to this beautiful little girl you see here and I also got married. What have you done? Besides lose?

JENN: I’ll just remind you that I am the reigning Olympic Champion in the Women’s Pole Vault; the most prestigious title in the sport and I am also the current World Indoor Record Holder in the event with a very impressive 5.02m clearance.

YELENA: All this talk and yet you couldn’t even win as much a bronze in Beijing at the World’s this year. I, on the other hand, have been a World Champion on three occasions and an Olympic Champion on two occasions. Too bad they don’t award medals to fourth place finishers otherwise you would have had a beautiful copper medal to add to your already small collection.

JENN: Just imagine a woman who is not a current champion in any major competition right now is giving me all this talk. You’re really shameless Yelena.

YELENA: Oh, I’m the shameless one. This is coming from a disrespectful American braggart who promised to “kick some Russian butt” in Beijing during the 2008 Olympics but only ended up in second place and then had no choice but to watch me set another World Record. I know you enjoyed my show that night at the Bird’s Nest. I was the big star that night and you were just an extra on the set who was hardly noticeable despite being 6 feet tall.

JENN: Yeah Yelena. The star who, a year later came back crashing down to earth in a city called Berlin. I really felt sorry for you that night at the 2009 World’s. In fact, if I was there I would have personally called the paramedics for them to rush you to the hospital. I know your ego was badly broken that night.

YELENA: It was Jenn. You’re right. That’s why I left the stadium that night in tears. I feel no shame in that. Any great athlete can have a bad day. But I like how you conveniently bring up Berlin yet you failed to mention what happened in Zurich a week and a half later at the Golden League.

JENN: Let me guess, you did something extraordinary?

YELENA: Precisely Jenn. I set a new world record which still stands today. 5.06m. I also went on to win a share of the last Golden League Jackpot along with Sanya Richards and Kenenisa Bekele. I had previously won a share of the Golden League Jackpot in 2007; also with Sanya. I was then nominated for Female Athlete of the Year 2009 by the IAAF – an award I had already won on three previous occasions in 2004, 2005 and 2008. I lost out to Sanya that year but I didn’t mind. She fully deserved it. By the way, how many times have you won the Golden League Jackpot or the prestigious Athlete of the Year honour?

JENN: Well ain’t that typical of you Yelena? Always talking about yourself and your achievements.

YELENA: Didn't you hear when I also mentioned Sanya Richards and Kenenisa Bekele? You're not good at listening are you Jenn? Oh, but do you still remember how I also defeated you in front of my adoring home fans in Moscow two years ago? Both you and Yarisley came in as favorites but I left with the title. Yarisley even defeated you in Beijing this summer didn’t she? Likewise Fabiana and Nikoleta. If I were you I would cherish the lovely memories I had from London 2012 for as long as I live because it is hardly likely that you will experience such a great win again.

At this point baby Eva started to cry, so Yelena took her out the pram and began to bottle feed her.

JENN: Moscow is in the past. Let’s talk about Rio. I’ll call it Yelena vs. Jenn part IV.

YELENA: Well at least you’re right about Yelena vs. somebody. I wouldn’t put the name Jenn there though seeing that Yarisley seems to be the girl to beat right now. Fabiana is also a factor. Likewise Nikoleta and even some of my Russian compatriots. Silke can’t be written off either seeing that she came so close to getting on the podium in London and Moscow even though she wasn’t a factor in Beijing. You can never tell what can happen. I know for sure that I’ll be ready to reassert my dominance over the competition once again just like I did for five straight years from 2004-2008.

JENN: Are you so sure about that Yelena?

YELENA: As Suhr as I was when I knew that I would have beaten you in 2008 and 2013. Pardon the pun.

JENN: Well it’s on then. May Rio determine who is the best woman in the sport.

YELENA: It’s already a well-established fact that I am the best. History and the Record Books can confirm this. Rio will only reaffirm my supremacy. Be prepared to enjoy the drama.

JENN: I will because I’ll be starring.

YELENA: I’ll write the script and direct it then.

At this point Jenn became speechless; unable to come up with an appropriate response. She just shook her head and humbly walked away as Yelena gave her a sly smile; quite satisfied that she had won the argument. She was now thinking about winning what mattered most - Olympic Gold in Rio next year.